Ethics and Integrity and Nsaba Buturo

This month alone has seen more than a hundred people lose their lives in grisly traffic accidents.

Nsaba Buturo, when he is not busy being Uganda's national clown, finds time to be our sovereign state's minister for Ethics and Integrity.

That has to be the most absurd ministry Uganda has ever come up with since the ministry for Disaster Preparedness.

Even more absurd was What the good minister allude such traffic accidents to.

Us being Ugandans, we swallowed his comedy and went about our daily lives. Like Leo DiCaprio said in Blood Diamond, This Is Uganda. Anything goes here {Actually, what he said was "This Is Africa." But I got my point across, didn't I?}

On a more intellectual note, let's analyse the basics of the two concepts upon which the ministry is based: Ethics and Integrity.

Ethics is a branch of philosophy, encompassing right conduct and good life. It is significantly broader than the common conception of analyzing right and wrong.
Integrity is consistency of actions, values, methods, measures and principles.

[Before you bagin marvelling at just how bright I am, let me confess that I copy-pasted that from Wikipedia. But I really am clever, nonetheless.]

Back to Hon Buturo.

With Temangalo, Gavi, Junk helicopters, Third term and all the not ethical stuff that has been perpetrated by his cabinet colleagues under his watch as the minister charged with maintaining ethics and integrity of society, ills which he never once criticised and sometimes even outrightly supported, does he really have the steel, competence or moral authority to lead this country's fight for lofty ideals?

Let me introduce to you another term: Hypocrisy.

OK, not the rock band.

Hypocrisy results when one part of a value system is demonstrably at odds with another and the person or group of people holding those values fails to account for the discrepancy. Hypocrisy is considered to be the opposite of integrity.

[That one too I got from Wikipedia]

Of the three concepts, Ethics, Integrity and Hypocrisy, which one best describes the minister?

Church hazard

Indongole came from church last sunday with two black eyes. "Man, what happened to you? I asked.

He said, "I was seated behind this very fat, ugly woman in church,




"When we stood for prayer, Her dress had stuck itself in the crack of her ass. It was an ugly sight, and so I bent foward and pulled it out, but all I got for my noble effort was she socked me on my right eye."

Trying really hard not to laugh, I asked, "And what happened to your left eye?"

"Oh." Indongole replied. "I figured she hadn't liked what I'd done, so I pushed the dress back in."

My favorite song.

I really love this song by Dr. Kitch

I am not a qualified physician

And I do not want to give this injection.

I am not a qualified physician

And I do not want to give this injection

Dorothy's begging for trouble

She is insisting I give her this needle

Darling one thing I want you to know

Don't blame me for where the needle goes

I push it in

She pull it out

I push it back

She start to shout

“Dr Kitch,

you’re terrible

I can’t stand the size of your needle”

She lied on in such a position

It was difficult to give this injection

She start holding on to the needle

Making me so uncomfortable

I said “Darling can’t you be steady

I’m going to have it done very shortly”

She said “Dr Kitch I am sorry

But the size of the needle frighten me”

I push it in

She pull it out

I push it back

She start to shout

“Dr Kitch,

it’s terrible

I can’t stand the size of your needle”

She still wouldn’t lie down quietly

Constantly moving her body

So I slap her in the face with vexation

And I went on giving the injection

She screamed “Doctor stop! I can’t stand the pain!

I don’t think you’re inside the right vein”

I said “It’s your own fault you wouldn’t be told

The needle must be stick in the wrong hole”

I push it in

She pull it out

I push it back

She start to shout

“Dr Kitch,

it’s terrible

I can’t stand the size of your needle”

I pull it from that hole and start again

I have the needle now in the right vein

The needle just gone in half a inch

The stupid young lady start to flinch

Suddenly she she calls 'Doc it's working!

Doc I can feel the penicillin going in

I said “You little fool, look what you do

You talk until the needle break in you”

I push it in

She pull it out

I push it back

She start to shout

“Dr Kitch,

it’s terrible

I can’t stand the size of your needle.”

And out went Mimi

Finally, Mimi shoved her huge Ghanaian ass out of the BBA3 house. What can I say except that it was long overdue!

I watched the eviction show at Allen's Hostel in Kavule together with my good friends

Chris,

Sammy

and Katumanga,

and from the way they whooped when Mimi's name was called, you would have thought Geovanni had just scored his wonder goal against Arsenal.

During her post-eviction interview, Mimi said in an obviously bravado performance, "Thank you Africa for voting me out!"

You're more than welcome, Mimi!

To be a great writer

He came to me in a dream,

The greatest writer who ever lived.

His works,

Provocative, intrepid and vast,

Are glimpses from the very pith of life

Immortalised in ink.

Role model. Inspiration. Demi-god.

To me,

He epitomised all I ever aspired.

What would I not give

If only a tenth of his achievements

Were to be my entire eulogy?

Now, he stood before me;

A genie

Beholding Alladin of the rusty lamp.

Great sir, I cried. Ye lord of the written word,

I beg your indulgence.

Speak, he commanded. Spill forth your distress.

Teach me, kind sir, to be a great writer.

Sprinkle upon me droplets from your sea of wisdom

So that I can be like you.

He looked at me with mirth in his eyes

And laughed in a voice that was terrible.

Teach you? He laughed and then laughed some more.

What are you, a fool? An incurable idiot?

Why is God God? He suddenly asked.

Because he creates, I quickly replied.

And why is your mother so? He continued.

Because she brought me forth, said I.

Why is Erykah Badu a siren?

Because she sings, I rattled on.

And why is Dubya an imbecile?

Because he is stupid beyond compare!

You are what you do, he summed it up.

You say you desire to write great works.

Then why the hell are you still here?

Get yourself a goddamned pen and write!

I awoke

I got myself a pen and paper

And I wrote.

We have ourselves a winner.

The rhetorical distance between JohnMcCain and Barrack Obama's campaign teams is as enormous as the two candidates themselves.

This was seen after last night's debate in Hempstead, NY, when both teams summed up their respective candidates' performances.

This is what McCain's side had to say:

“While Barack Obama is measuring the drapes and campaigning against a man not even on the ballot, John McCain demonstrated that he has the experience, judgment, independence and courage to fight for every American,”

Team Obama hit back with this absolute cracker:

“We came into the debate with two-thirds of the American people convinced that John McCain is running a negative campaign... Senator McCain spent 90 minutes trying to convince the other third.”

I know I'm partisan, but does anyone still doubt who is going to win this?

Maskini akipata..

The swahili have a saying. Maskini akipata matako hulia mbwata.

What the hell goaded coach Kimanzi to blast our dear neighbours?